You can't force your child to do anything, especially eat, so just stop trying. Simply offer her nutritious, varied foods—and eat them yourself. She can have hers, or not, but you're showing her how. Do you still remember having to eat your veggies or clean your plate before you could leave the table? Adam Strauss, M.D., a pediatrician in Westwood and Mansfield, MA, offers a word of caution. "When parents demand that their kids eat certain foods, they're attaching negative connotations to it. Pretty soon, the struggle is worse." Put the food on her plate, but if it stays there, don't push her and don't stress over it.
Give straightforward praise, even if he takes only one bite of something new.
For example: "It's great that you tried the chili!" Basing the praise on how you feel ("Mommy's so happy!") sends a questionable message: He controls your emotions with his fork. "I used to feel really attached to my kids' eating the dishes I'd taken the time to make. My emphasis on my split-pea soup especially made everyone miserable. Finally, one day I ignored the soup but put out some fun sides, and the kids ended up tasting the soup," recalls Heather Swain, mom of Graham, 2, and Clementine, 4, in Brooklyn.
Don't get hung up on the time of day your child eats, or how much she eats at a sitting.
It's okay if your kid doesn't eat three square meals every day as long as over the course of a week or two she eats things from each food group.
Offer choices that don't matter.
You may face stubborn insistence that toast have a corner unbuttered to avoid messy hands, or that cereal be served only in a Go Diego Go! bowl, or that nothing touch. While this kind of behavior is draining, it's typical at this age, says Dr. Strauss. Give him an option—the green plate or the blue? Offering your child a limited choice is often enough to end the power struggle. But make your rules clear: "At home, you can choose your cup, but when we're out, you have to use whatever they have."
My kid won't eat meat
The texture turns off many preschoolers, and that's fine. "My two-and-a-half-year-old is basically a vegetarian, barring hot dogs and his latest discovery, ham," says Elizabeth Gonzalez, mom of Jason, 2, in Yorktown Heights, NY. "I offer lots of peanut butter, cheese, yogurt and veggie burgers, and he's doing just fine. We always ask if he wants meat when I make it, but when he invariably says no, we say A-OK and try not to press it." Like Jason, your child can still get all the protein he needs from:
The texture turns off many preschoolers, and that's fine. "My two-and-a-half-year-old is basically a vegetarian, barring hot dogs and his latest discovery, ham," says Elizabeth Gonzalez, mom of Jason, 2, in Yorktown Heights, NY. "I offer lots of peanut butter, cheese, yogurt and veggie burgers, and he's doing just fine. We always ask if he wants meat when I make it, but when he invariably says no, we say A-OK and try not to press it." Like Jason, your child can still get all the protein he needs from:
- yogurt, cheese or cottage cheese
- nachos with beans and cheese
- hard-boiled eggs or any egg dish
- his favorite crackers dipped in hummus or spread with peanut (or nut) butter
- cheese or even meat-filled ravioli (the pasta exterior goes a long way for meat-haters)
- mini-tuna melts (if he's game for fish, but stick to chunk light, only twice a week)
